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DEPRESSION (AKA – THAT FEELING OF BODY-CRUSHING SADNESS NO AMOUNT OF PROZAC & TEQUILA CAN CURE THAT HITS HARDER THAN MARK HENRY USING YOU AS A TRAMPOLINE ONCE YOU WAKE UP & REALIZE THAT HALLOWEEN IS OVER FOR ANOTHER YEAR, WHICH SEEMS LIKE FOREVER AWAY)

November 21, 2011

I gotta admit, this year was tougher for me than in the past.  Probably due to a couple of things.  First, it was the most fun I’d had leading up to and on Halloween day & night since I can ever remember and I did NOT want it to end.  And two, it was really hard on me seeing Christmas decorations out to buy in my local stores in the first week of October in a much bigger section than they gave the Halloween items.  And while yes, everyone knows Halloween is by far my favorite of all holidays and IS in fact like my very own Christmas, I’m still no Scrooge…I LOVE Christmas, and to me Santa is still very, very real (tell me otherwise and I’ll bite off your throat and play Jingle Bells with your exposed vocal cords like a stand-up bass) but come ON…at least wait till November 1st to put out your holiday displays, bastards.  And yes I know, forever’s a mighty long time, but I’m here to tell you – there’s something else….

Prince fans, if you were waiting for me to go somewhere else with that or at least finish the line, I am sorry.  But what I’m not sorry for as we approach Thanksgiving here in a few days and then of course the official Christmas season is having for you, my dear ones of readers, several cures for the post-Halloween blues & blahs that actually doesn’t involve massive amounts of anti-depressants or institutionalization.  Most of you I’m sure, already know these things.  But I also know that there are those of you out there who are indeed huge fans of horror & Halloween, but who are hiding at the shallow end still toe-dipping, yanking it back, and shivering…a lil bit apprehensive as of yet to come with me to the high-dive and parachute (my favorite dive) into the deep end of the geek pool.  Well, nut up and follow me!

Websites – you know there’s a lot of us out there (hell, three sites alone that I write for) that keep horror in the forefront all year long with insane amounts of content from reviews to interviews to podcasts to lists to pretty much anything and everything your lil black hearts desire.  And in the forefront of that forefront is of course, Mr. Frights, who WILL bring you Halloween 365 days a year.  Yeah, it’s not just a clever slogan, it’s true…it’s DAMN true!!!

Movies – I am just as guilty as anyone else when it comes to loving the Christmas comedies and heartfelt family drivel and even the two greatest Christmas action movies of all time – LETHAL WEAPON, and DIE HARD.  It’s a thing, it’s normal, I’m not worried.  But there are so so so so so soooooooo many Christmas-themed horror movies out there to keep you in the Yuletide bloodshedding spirit to choose from.  The obvious ones – BLACK CHRISTMAS, and even the pseudo-remake, BLACK XMAS, which I didn’t mind at all, and SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT – are all there for your enjoyment.  And yes, we can’t forget GREMLINS, CHRISTMAS EVIL, and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT…  But maybe there’s some lesser-known low budget indie gems out there you might not have heard of and could wind up loving just as much as I do…

For those of you that crush on Debbie Rochon (MMMMMM, yeah) as hard as I do, you can never, NEVER go wrong with SANTA CLAWS.  Goldberg fans rejoice in the holiday spirit as the former WCW champ comes to Hell Township as Satan’s pissed off son just finishing up a 1000 year sentence as Santa and is now out for some major revenge.  Frosty The Snowman can suck it when mutated killer snowman JACK FROST is out for revenge on the sheriff that killed him but still has time to take a shower with a naked Shannon Elizabeth.  Ahhhh, good times!!

Those are just merely a couple of ideas you can use to keep your Halloween Holiday Horror spirit alive during the rest of the year.  Whether or not you’re as high on Christmas as I am, we all know the horror fiend in you won’t be able to resist these and many more great Christmas horror flicks to tide you over.  Matter of fact, Facebook users and Frights’ fans, I’m toying right now with a 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS horror slashathon (in the vein of the 31 Days of Halloween) that may or may not shoot past that leading up to a viewing of NEW YEAR’S DAY on, well, New Year’s Day.  But the kinks are still being worked out on that and will be the subject of a future blog.

But until then, have fun stuffing yourselves (or your mother in law) this coming week and from all of me to all of you – have a very Happy Thankskilling!!!!

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